There has been an slightly visible rash on my arms and neck for about 5 days that I’m itching using only the pads of my fingertips. I saw a tweet about trypophobia this morning and I clicked on it and I could not be more sorry that I did that.
The images attached to that tweet are causing an unrelenting panic racing through my brain. I have never had such a reaction to images before. Once, when I was driving on I-35 almost to the Riverside exit headed south out of downtown, a truck carrying a load of tubes passed me. I almost passed out when I saw all of the holes ahead of me. Still, the memory of that hasn’t thrown me into the fit of discomfort I am in now. 
I read what I could of the article before the pain in my neck became too great. It is torture, coupled with this ambient rash that I thought was caused by stress.  The article mentioned something about the hole imagery reminding us of poisonous creatures. I think about my rash differently now, which could be caused by an insect bite obtained while abroad. We ate outside almost every meal and there were bugs everywhere in Europe.
I feel unspeakably connected to the world right now, uncomfortably so. Hours after I saw the phobia tweet a person I follow sent what I am assuming was an unrelated tweet about being a ‘carefree tube full of holes’ and I almost wept.
My throat feels dry and the there is a v-shaped patch of itchiness at the base of my neck between my shoulders. I imagine my skin back there appearing like the hole-covered appendages in the images I saw. Knowing on a microscopic level my skin actually does look like this, I am ready to be dead.
I dreamed of bombs in the sky last night. They were more like fireballs in a bright blue atmosphere. I was in bed by 8:30pm so I missed most of the nuclear war bragging between the two psychotic leaders, however since these holes that cover us are too open, too present, too agitated,  everything is bleeding into the next thing.